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The Christmas lights twinkle as I walk through the city,

I feel my heart skip a beat as you fall into step beside me,

You act carefree as always, today also we spent joking around,

And as you take my hand in yours, my eyes inevitably fall to the ground.

The winter nights have returned once again, yet somehow I feel warm this year,

We’re already holding hands but something in me just wants to pull you near.

I hope the faint blush goes unnoticed,

Will you walk me home today?

Is it love or is it just a crush?

I can’t bring myself to care.

Never thought I’d end up falling so hard,

But now it’s too late to get back my heart.

So to the snow that’s raining down,

Please make this one wish come true,

Even if you don’t feel the same,

Just a little longer, let me hold on to you.


All that has been forced into this brain for so long is trash,

How will “2+2=4” help me in life?

But look who’s talking, someone who fails even at that-

I’ve grown used to laughing at my own strife.

I know what is waiting for me,

A piece of chocolate and a future being woven by someone else

What am I going to do about it?

All I can do is stuff my head with all the ways I can kill myself.

This monochrome puppet life is something I’ve known since the very first day-

And though it fills my veins to the brim with red hot anger,

The owners have never really cared and all I can do is raise the gun to my head,

Yet why does my brain stop me from pulling the trigger?

Can someone put me to sleep already?

I don’t want to listen to this anymore, life’s constant chaotic symphony,

Killing myself has become something of a fantasy

Is it too late to quit? This train is bound for a story drenched in tragedy

Look at me,

How did it ever come down to this?

Look at me,

A coward who can’t even slit her wrists.

Look at me,

All I can do is fantasize about suicide,

Look at me,

Lacking the courage to even plunge the knife

How meaningless, how weary I’ve grown,

I don’t want to do this anymore,

Even if I were to die no one will mourn

My voice will always be ignored…

Look at me,

Eventhough I want to say goodbye

All this useless attention seeker can do is hide the screams and cry,

Look at me,

Eventhough I want stop this horror ride,

All I can do is think about it just as I’ve been doing my entire life.



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